I didn’t realize I had become that mom.
The one hovering two inches behind her kid on the playground.
The one saying “careful!” every seven seconds.
The one who brought snacks, backups for the snacks, and backups for the backups.
It wasn’t helicopter parenting out of control…
It was fear.
Fear of them getting hurt.
Fear of things going wrong.
Fear of not being enough.
☁️ The wake-up moment
One afternoon at the park, my daughter tried to climb a ladder she’d never climbed before.
My instinct?
Sprint, hover, spot her like she was preparing for the Olympics.
But before I could move, a dad nearby said to his son,
“Try it. If you fall, you’ll learn how to climb even better next time.”
His calmness annoyed me at first—
How could he be so relaxed? Didn’t he see the danger?
But then I watched his son.
Determined.
Focused.
Proud when he reached the top.
I glanced at my daughter, still looking back at me every two seconds for approval, reassurance, permission.
That’s when it hit me:
My constant presence was quietly sending the message that I didn’t trust her.
🌿 The truth about overprotective parenting
We don’t hover because we’re controlling.
We hover because we care.
But caring too closely can sometimes smother the resilience right out of our kids.
Kids need space to:
Try
Fail
Problem-solve
Get up again
Feel capable
Independent kids aren’t born.
They grow from tiny moments we step back.
💛 What stepping back actually looks like
It doesn’t mean ignoring them.
It doesn’t mean letting them struggle alone.
It means being close enough to support—
but far enough to let them figure things out.
Now, instead of saying “Be careful!” twenty times,
I ask,
“What’s your plan?”
“Do you feel safe?”
“How can you try it differently?”
And the surprising part?
They’ve become braver.
Calmer.
More confident.
And honestly… so have I.
🏡 The quiet truth
Helicopter parenting whispers the lie that if we hover enough, nothing bad will happen.
But childhood isn’t meant to be padded.
It’s meant to be explored.
And sometimes the biggest act of love is stepping back—
so they can step forward.
Love
Rochel
A mother of 4 of the cutest children. I have seen the ups and downs in motherhood. Subscribe to this newsletter to hear my raw and honest thoughts on the joys and chaos of motherhood.
