It was bedtime.
Which, in theory, is supposed to be calm.
Lights dimmed.
Pajamas on.
A book.
A hug.
Goodnight.
That’s the dream, right?
In reality?
“Just one more drink.”
“I forgot to tell you something.”
“Wait, I’m not tired.”
“Can you stay for one minute?”
One minute… that somehow turns into fifteen.
And if I’m being honest, that night—I was done.
Tired.
Tapped out.
Counting the minutes until I could finally sit down.
So when the next “Can you stay?” came, I almost said no.
Actually—I did say no.
🪞 The Moment That Made Me Pause
I started walking out of the room.
And then I heard it.
A quiet, almost whisper:
“I just like when you’re here.”
Not dramatic.
Not manipulative.
Just… true.
And suddenly, it didn’t feel like stalling anymore.
It felt like connection.
🧩 The Part We Get Wrong
We’re quick to label these moments:
Stalling.
Attention-seeking.
Avoiding bedtime.
And sometimes—they are.
But sometimes?
It’s something deeper.
Because all day long, our kids share us with everything else:
Phones.
Work.
Other siblings.
Responsibilities.
Bedtime is one of the only moments that feels undivided.
And they know it.
So they reach for it.
In the only ways they know how.
🧡 What I’m Learning
Not every delay is defiance.
Sometimes it’s a child saying:
“I didn’t get enough of you today.”
And that doesn’t mean we give in every time.
Bedtime still matters.
Boundaries still matter.
But how we see the moment changes how we respond to it.
That night, I went back.
Not for fifteen minutes.
Just for one intentional minute.
Sat down.
No rushing.
No half-listening.
And then I said goodnight again.
This time, it landed differently.
💡 What Changed
Nothing about the schedule.
Nothing about the routine.
Just the meaning behind the moment.
And somehow—there were fewer “one more minutes” after that.
Not because the request disappeared.
But because the need was met.
💌 I’m Curious
What’s something your child does that looks like misbehavior—
but might actually be a request for connection?
Sometimes the hardest parenting moments aren’t problems to fix.
They’re messages to understand.
Love,
Rochel
A mother of 4 of the cutest children. I have seen the ups and downs in motherhood. Subscribe to this newsletter to hear my raw and honest thoughts on the joys and chaos of motherhood.
